Happy Birthday to me! I’ve now been on this planet for a quarter-century. I figure this is a good time to add another blog update. I don’t know how many people actually read this blog, but some that do have been asking me when I was planning on writing some more. Lucky for you, I have had a LOT on my mind the past few months.
As my readers well know, I haven’t had the best of luck with jobs since graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in English. First I had many stressful days subbing at the junior high school, as well as many boring days subbing at the high school. I was then unceremoniously let go from a newspaper job that I enjoyed, followed by a seasonal job with UPS where I got bit by a large dog (which took forever to heal and now has left a slight scar on my leg). I’m now currently working two part-time jobs: one where I occasionally dress as superheroes (mostly Spider-Man) for special events and parties, and another one where I help my dad around the church (mostly vacuuming the sanctuary and trimming the bushes and trees). Neither of these are exactly what I had in mind when I chose to major in English. Though I suppose I didn’t actually have much in mind as far as a future job when I chose that major; I just knew I liked reading, writing, and discussion enough to spend my last year at Cedarville in the library. Recently I’ve finally gotten more of an idea of what I would like to be doing with my life; I guess now it’s just a matter of getting there.
By the way, I am currently looking for an additional job, either part-time or full-time, for at least this summer. Suggestions, recommendations, and/or job offers would be a nice birthday present ;) Again, any new job I get may be just a summer job anyway; it’s possible I may be busy elsewhere come this fall.
A few months ago I submitted an application for Biola University, as well as a separate application for Biola’s Cinema and Media Arts program. I was accepted to Biola, but I will not be making any final decisions until I find out if I was accepted into the CMA program or not. My application was submitted late (partly because I didn’t even know I would be applying until recently) and applications submitted after the deadline will not be reviewed until May 1 (tomorrow!). I’ll probably post another blog within the next month once I get word back.
Why Cinema and Media Arts? That goes back to when I was twelve years old and my dream for the future was to be “someone who works with movies or an actor”. I greatly enjoy acting, but I think my artistic talents would be used better behind the camera, possibly as a director, editor, cinematographer, or screenwriter (at least that way I can still apply my English degree). I’ve always had a passion for movies, and I would love the chance to work full-time with a movie studio in some kind of creative position.
At Biola, I wouldn’t necessarily need a second Bachelor’s degree (though it wouldn’t take much longer to get one); I’m more interested in just taking classes for experience so I can eventually get either an internship or a job with a movie studio. I honestly didn’t look much at the Cinema programs of other schools, but Biola’s seems pretty good. I could apply to other colleges to take film classes, but I’ll wait to hear back from Biola’s CMA program first. Of course, if I decide to wait a year and go somewhere other than Biola, then I will definitely be needing a more full-time job.
I realize I don't always plan ahead as much as I should, but going back to school looks like it might be the next thing for me (even though I am terrified at the idea of adding on even more to my student debt). But really, who knows what God has planned for me? I wish I knew. I'm just taking a step in the dark and trusting that God will guide me the rest of the way. Whether I end up in a job where I could one day win an Academy Award, or whether I end up somewhere else entirely is a complete mystery. I don’t want to throw away my shot, but I also don’t want to be stuck in a soul-sucking job for the rest of my life.
I just feel that now, at 25, I’m way behind where I should be. My family (myself included) seems to be horrible at getting things done, and I don’t want to live like that the rest of my life. At a quarter-century,x I feel like I should be starting the rest of my life right now, like so many people already are. There are loads of successful people under the age of 25, or not much older. I just need to remember that their successes are not my failures.
I often relate to Disney/musical protagonists. I think of myself as a dreamer who wants adventure in the great wide somewhere, who imagines life out there living in the sun. I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free; gotta find my corner of the sky. When I hear these songs I feel a sense of longing deep in my soul that says “I know exactly how you feel!” Like the titular lead character in Pippin (a musical I am a part of which you should all see!), I want my life to have meaning. I may not know exactly how my life will turn out, but I’ll take it one step at a time.
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I think and pray about jobs, school, and life in general.
