Looking Back

Writing is like physical exercise. It’s something I really should do every day, or at least more than once or twice every few months. It’s rewarding, and I love doing it; it’s just a matter of finding time for it. No - not finding time; making time. It’s something where you can always make an excuse for not doing it; but something that really should be a part of one’s daily routine. The same can be said concerning reading the Bible and spending time with God. The only difference is that spending time with God and reading His Word is infinitely more rewarding than both writing and physical exercise.

As with any kind of discipline, the further you progress, the more you need to push yourself to grow. I’m finally starting to get back into habit of reading the Bible daily, and I’m reaching that point where I need to read a little more than usual to really get something out of what I am reading. Before this habit starts to fade (like it has so often before) I would really like to join a Bible study or small group so that I can keep working those spiritual muscles. I was a part of discipleship groups all three years at Cedarville University, and those groups were incredibly rewarding. I wish I could have something like that again.

Though I greatly loved discipleship group at Cedarville University, my involvement in those groups coupled with the insane amount of English homework I had kept me from participating in other activities I had always wanted to do there: swing dancing, cinema, and theatre. Swing dancing was typically held in the main hallway of the Dixon Ministry Center, a building that has large windows near the entrance. There were several evenings I walked past those large windows, paused a moment to look at the fun they were having inside, then sadly keep walking toward the library where I would usually stay until they kicked me out.

It wasn’t until a few months ago that I finally got the opportunity to try swing dancing for the first time, and it was a lot of fun! I’ve been going periodically every Tuesday night for swing dancing lessons and open dance in Fresno with some friends I met at Encore Theatre. I’m nowhere near as good as many of the others that go, but at least I can say that I’ve improved. A couple different times I’ve gone they’ve had a live band play for us, and another night was ’50s themed. I dressed as a greaser that night and won a costume contest (the pictures are on Facebook if you feel like stalking me on there to find them). I haven’t been able to go the last couple weeks, and I kind of miss it. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to go back in a while because I’ll be busy elsewhere from now until early November.

In my last blog post I mentioned that I was thinking of auditioning for Shrek the Musical at the Lindsay Community Theatre. One of my friends had played the soundtrack for me on the way to swing dancing, and it sounded like a lot of fun. I suppose what I learned at swing dancing helped me to become a more confident dancer, because at auditions I felt I did really well on the dance portion. The director obviously thought so too - I’ve been cast as Lord Farquaad, one of the leads.

If you are at all familiar with the movie, you may think it an odd choice casting a 6’1” tall man as the notoriously short leader of Duloc. But if you are familiar with the stage musical, then you know that Lord Farquaad is typically played by a taller actor. This is because the actor plays almost the entire role on his knees, wearing a special costume that has fake legs attached, so as to appear short. Earlier this evening I tried on the costume for the first time; it’s definitely going to take some getting used to. I have to wear these big knee pads that were either made for an umpire or a hockey player. While wearing these I have to walk and even dance around on stage for several scenes - on my knees. And apparently I have a different costume for every scene I’m in, so I’ll definitely be needing help with costumes backstage. The role is going to be a ton of fun, and I can’t wait to get started working on my scenes. However, I think my knees may not be too happy with me after the first week or so of rehearsal. The rest of the cast is amazing, many of whom I have worked with in other shows like Big Fish, Beauty and the Beast, and Pippin. In addition, my sister Debra will be playing a Little Pig, one of the Three Blind Mice, and a tap-dancing rat, while my mom will be playing piano for rehearsals. Our show days are October 27, 28, and 29, and November 3, 4, and 5. Ask me closer to opening weekend about showtimes and pricing. I hope to see many of you there, if only just to see me suffer in my costume.

It’s been a lot of fun doing so many plays and musicals the last couple years. It makes up for the ones I missed out on while I was at Cedarville. And though I’m proud of the Bachelor’s degree in English I earned there, I’ve recently been wondering if I chose the right major. After graduating high school I changed my major many times, and though English definitely was a step in the right direction for me, I’m still not sure it was exactly the major for me. Many of my English classes at Cedarville I only barely passed, while other students excelled in the same classes. I always felt kind of fake while giving presentations and writing scholarly papers using that pretentious language we were taught to use. I liked discussing novels, and I like this kind of writing, but everything else didn’t seem quite me.

There were other times at Cedarville when my friends would work on a video for some kind of media class, and I would want to join in. I was able to help out with a couple videos, but never in the capacity that I wanted. My senior year at Cedarville I joined Filmgate, the campus’ film org, though even with that I wasn’t always able to participate as much as I wanted, largely because of my English homework, but also because I was a discipleship group leader that year.

Looking back at my time at Cedarville, I wouldn’t take back a single moment. I greatly improved my communication skills with my English major, and I greatly wish I could be a part of a discipleship group again. But at the same time, I can’t help but look back on all the times I wanted to be a part of a play, but my homework wouldn’t allow it, or all the times I walked past those windows on my way to the library and saw people swing dancing, or all those times I wanted to help with videos, but my schedule would not allow it. Maybe I could have majored in theatre or cinema arts instead, but I’m still glad I chose English. At least presumably there are more job opportunities with a degree in English than with theatre or cinema arts. I’m still trying to find out.

A couple months ago I had an interview with Bank of the Sierra. I was pretty excited about it. I thought, or at least hoped, I had prepared enough, but after answering many questions with “uhhh” and “ummm” I found out that I was not nearly prepared enough. I obviously didn’t get the job. Since then there were a few other times when i thought I was close to getting hired, but they ended up “going in a different direction.” I’m still currently working at the Exeter Courthouse Gallery and Museum and for A Wish Your Heart Makes. With the money I make from both of those combined, I make just enough to cover my student loans every month, but not enough if I wanted to live on my own, which I would very much like to do someday. Job hunting has taken a bit of a back seat recently, largely because I’ve been pretty busy with both of my other jobs, but also because I know that I’m going to be busy with Shrek the Musical for the next couple months.

While working at the museum recently I met a man who leads a writer’s group that meets every other Saturday at the museum. The group also meets Thursday nights in Visalia, and I was invited to go to the most recent one last Thursday. The writers in that group (about seven of them) each bring something they’ve been working on, read it for the group, then offer constructive criticism for each other. I didn’t bring anything with me, so I just helped with the workshopping. But going to that meeting helped remind me once again to get back on this blog and write. So if any of you in that group are reading this right now; thank you! I’d like to go back again at some point, but it may have to be after Shrek the Musical is over.

Recently I've been ending all my blog posts with prayer requests, and I think I’ll stick with that tradition. Here are some things you can pray for:

• that God would provide me with a good full-time job (that I like) that will provide enough money to pay for student loans as well as enough money to save for the future
• that I would find some kind of bible study or small group to be a part of again, because I kind of miss it, and I want to know God better
• that Shrek the Musical would go well and for my knees to not die
• that I would go where God wants me to go, do what He wants me to do, and trust Him for the future, because I have no idea what His plan for my life is (but I know it’s a good one)

Thanks for reading, and thanks for praying. Hopefully I’ll be on here again before too long.