Memories of Polar

On Monday, April 16, the world lost a beautiful soul: my good dog, Polar. I wanted to post something sooner, but whenever I tried to write it I would start to tear up - it still felt too soon. It's been a couple weeks now, and though I still get misty-eyed thinking about him, I wanted to share these memories and pictures of my good boy.

Polar, shortly after we got him in 2007.

We got Polar in 2007, when he was one year old. A family from church was moving and they were not allowed to have dogs at their new place. So, unbeknownst to all but my dad, they gave Polar and his friend Hunny to us. (Yes, I spelled "Hunny" like that on purpose. That's how I've always spelled it). That was a bit of a surprise when I came home from school that day. Before they came along, our only dog was Abby, the floppy-eared corgi/terrier mix. We did have another dog, Bella, but she had been put to sleep a few months before Polar and Hunny came along. So after a few months of being the only dog, Abby had two new friends.

(left to right) Abby and her two new friends: Hunny and Polar

It took some getting used to going from two dogs, to one, to three, but Polar and Hunny quickly became beloved members of the family. But to me, Polar quickly became more like my dog.

Polar and I goofing around, summer 2010.

Polar's Personality

One thing I love about animals is that, just like people, they have distinct personalities.

He always was a goofy boy.

When Polar was younger especially, he liked to roll around on the grass and lay on his back. I often rolled around with him and "wrestled" with him.

Sometimes after lying down for a while, if he saw us by the screen door, he would come over and say hi, but not before stretching his legs. Whenever he stretched by the door like this it looked a little like he was bowing down to us, so we would always politely bow back.

Other times while sitting up he would scratch his belly with his back leg and it looked a little like he was dancing or something. It looked funny so we would laugh at him and he would get embarrassed and stop.

"Oh, you're taking a picture?!? Make sure I'm front and center!"

Polar also loved being the center of attention. If we were trying to take a picture of someone or something else, he loved getting in the way. And if we were paying too much attention to another dog, he came over and got right in-between, sometimes even stepping on feet and paws in the process.

Polar was always trying to "butt" in on pictures of Hunny and Abby

He also was a very jumpy dog, in both senses of the word. If he was about to get a biscuit by the kitchen sliding glass door, he jumped. If he was excited to see us, he jumped. If we stood by the door and jumped up and down and told him to jump with us, Polar gladly obeyed. He also would sometimes jump up behind the fence next to the orange grove. From the other side all you could see was a happy dog head suddenly appearing above the fence line. I know he gave at least a couple high-schoolers walking by a bit of a scare.

Hard to say how high off the ground he is here.
Maybe a foot or two? (No pun intended)

Polar was also jumpy in the sense that he was easily spooked by loud noises. In the rare case that we would get a thunderstorm, Polar would get nervous - but he was mostly afraid of fireworks. 4th of July was Polar's least favorite of the year. Even before the fireworks would start, he knew they were coming and he would start panting nervously, his heart beating three times faster than normal. Finally one year we got him what was called a "thunder shirt", which was like a compression jacket to help Polar feel more secure and safe during times he was nervous. It seemed to help a little, but I always liked to sit by him and comfort him anyway during the fireworks.

Poor buddy looks happy, but at this moment he was pretty stressed.

Polar was much happier with his "thunder shirt",
(and he looked pretty good in it too).

Gardener Day

Every Tuesday, especially in the summer, the gardener at the house behind us would arrive to work in their backyard. This was always the highlight of Polar's week. Once the gardener starting working, Polar would run along the length of the back fence barking happily the whole time. After several minutes of running back and forth in the hot sun it was then pool time, so long as nobody was watching. Maybe he thought he wasn't allowed to go in the pool or maybe he was embarrassed but for whatever reason Polar (for the most part) only went swimming if he thought nobody was watching. After doing a quick lap Polar would get out of the pool, shake off, roll around, then bark in contentment. Every now and then he would go back to barking at the gardener and start the whole routine all over again.

Only once and a while could we actually catch him in the act.

Polar barks contentedly to the sky after cooling off in the pool.

He was always so dirty after swimming in the pool then rolling in the dirt...

...but he didn't mind one bit.

Polar and the Cats

At our house it is a rule that cats are inside, dogs are outside. Because of this they hardly ever interact with each other, and only then by the screen doors. Abby and Hunny would sometimes watch the cats inside, or even bark at them, but Polar never saw them. It's not that he was blind or anything - his vision was perfect - maybe he just didn't know they were living creatures? Once and a while we would even hold a cat in front of him, or even take a cat into the backyard, but he still would look right past them like they weren't even there.

As hard as we tried, Polar never saw the cats...

...not even if we took them into the backyard with us.

Polar and his Family

Before Polar came to live with us, he lived on a ranch with his mother, Angel, and his brother, Grizzly. Apparently in the year between his birth and his coming to live with us, Polar's mom and brother wandered off. Where to, I don't know. The family lived kind-of in the country, so they could have gone anywhere. Around that same time Hunny wandered onto their property. The family doesn't know where she came from, but I'm glad she became a part of Polar's family, then later ours.

One thing I will miss about Polar is sitting in the back yard with him. If I went outside and sat cross-legged on the grass, Polar would almost always come over and sit right in my lap. He was a good hugging dog, and just the right size for it, too. If I was feeling sad, or if I just needed a break from the world, I would often go outside and embrace my good dog for a solid few seconds. That always made me feel better. Usually he would try to lick me in the face - sometimes I would let him.

Me dodging a lick in the face from Polar.

Polar also loved going on walks with us. He had a special vest that we would put on him for walks. This is so that he wouldn't be constantly choking himself when going over to sniff things. Polar loved that vest, and it sure looked good on him. Whenever I would walk into the backyard holding that vest and leash, Polar knew what was coming. He would trot over to the gate, and wait patiently while I buckled him into his vest. On our walks we would usually we would take him, along with Hunny and sometimes Abby, through the ag farm next to us, but sometimes we would wander through the neighborhood as well. One time we drove the dogs with us up to Rocky Hill, and walked around with them up there. They had a good time - but then, they would be happy walking anywhere - as long as we were with them.

Polar and Hunny walking in the ag farm.

Polar liked Rocky Hill.

I was glad that Polar and Hunny got along well with Abby. Despite Polar taking over as top dog of the pack (being the only male), Abby still got along well with them. A little more than a year ago, their little pack went from three to two as we had to say goodbye to Abby. She was getting pretty old, but also she was overweight and having trouble moving. Poor Polar and Hunny were confused that she never came back with us that day.

Polar saying goodbye to Abby :(

We tried to get Hunny to say goodbye to Polar before we took him to the vet, but she didn't know what was going on. And I might have taken a picture like this of Hunny and Polar, but I was not in the mood to take pictures that day.

Polar and the Vet

Up until these last couple months, Polar was always such a healthy boy that he hardly ever went to the vet. A few months ago we took Polar in to the vet because his ear was bothering him. It turns out he had a foxtail that had been buried in there for a while. Polar wasn't too happy about getting his ears cleaned, but at least they got the foxtail out.

He seems happy now, but this is before they cleaned out
his ear and found a foxtail deep in there :(

In the car outside the vet after his ears were cleaned.
Polar did not like having his ears cleaned.

While we were at the vet, we also asked them about his nose, which had been kinda crusty for almost a year. It didn't seem to bother Polar, so they just recommended putting vaseline on it, which we did. It didn't seem to do very much though.

Poor buddy had a crusty nose.

Other than his nose, they mentioned that Polar was looking very good for his age, which was nice to hear. Polar never seemed to age - he was always just a big puppy.

About a month ago we took Polar to the vet again. He had some sores on his arms and had been limping on different legs, likely because of arthritis. He also had lost some weight, and he was already a skinny boy. They ran some tests and found that Polar had an extremely high white blood cell count. They diagnosed it as lupus and gave us pills for him.

After a couple weeks on the pills, there was visible change, but not a good kind. Polar had been licking the sores on his arms, which irritated the skin, causing the fur to come off and leaving the skin raw. He had also lost even more weight, which causing some shivering. It pained me to see him looking so miserable. He had had an appointment scheduled for the end of the week, but it was decided he needed to see the vet much sooner, and he might not come back.

Polar, with his head resting in my lap, looking old and
tired just minutes before we took him to the vet.

There really wasn't anything that could have been done. The pills we had been giving him had not slowed down or helped his condition. The lupus that had affected his nose had spread to his legs and had likely already started to spread to his internal organs. He wasn't reacting to the medicine we gave him, and he wasn't getting the nutrients he needed from his food because his body was working so hard to fight the infection. The vet said there were other potential treatment options, but none of them would be guaranteed to work, and would only prolong his discomfort. As sad as it was, we agreed that it would be a kindness to end his suffering before it got worse. I hated seeing my boy in pain, so I knew that this would be best for him.

The vet gave him a sedative, which took away the pain. Polar was much happier and more relaxed after that, and eventually fell asleep, even before they gave him the next shot. We got an imprint in clay of his paw print, and were given a few minutes in the room with Polar before the vet came back. Even though he was sleeping we kept petting him, telling him he was a good boy and we loved him. We continued to do this as the vet came back and administered his last shot.

It was done. I don't know what my parents at that time, but eventually I noticed they had both left the room, as had the vet. I was alone in the room with my boy. I pet him and hugged him again.

The hardest part was turning around and walking out of the room. I knew that he was already gone, but it pained me to look away, knowing I wouldn't see him again. Somehow I did it. I left the examination room, exited the building, then went to the car, where I sobbed the whole way home.

I don't even know why I'm telling you this. Maybe it's therapeutic, something I just needed to get off my chest. Or maybe I'm hoping I'll get some of you to tear up reading this, as I have been writing this. I know that losing a pet is something nearly everyone goes through at some point. Maybe these memories of Polar will remind you of happy memories with your own pets.

I still get a little choked-up if I see Polar's collar sitting on my shelf, or Polar's empty dog dish sitting inside by the dog food. But I'm focusing now on making sure we take care of Hunny, Polar's friend who now finds herself sole protector of the backyard. She is kind of overweight, so I'm taking her on more walks now. It's helpful for her to lose weight, but it's also helpful for the both of us emotionally. She misses her best friend, and I will always miss my good boy.

Polar
August 2006 - April 16, 2018
Rest in peace, my good boy <3