I feel like it’s been a while since
I’ve posted anything, though I think it’s really only been a couple weeks. I’d
like to post maybe once a week if I can, but I’ve been pretty busy the last
couple weeks. I’m only writing now because while I have homework I could be
doing right now, this is probably more important in the long run. This is how I
do most of my writing practice.
Discipleship Group
For
those who didn’t know (though I did mention it in an earlier post),
I am a discipleship group leader this year. This means that once a week (for
the whole school year) I lead a group of guys through a book. We’re going over Galatians for You by Timothy Keller. We
haven’t gotten very far in it yet, but so far I really like it. Being a D-group
leader this year means I also meet once a week with a team of other leaders
also going over this book. It’s a really neat experience so far being a part of
two different groups going over the same book. The leader group meets Thursday
nights and helps prepare me for when I lead my group Monday nights. This is
really the first time I’ve been a part of something where I’ve been an actual
official leader. It’s kind of a neat feeling. In our groups, we’re not meant to
be a preacher or anything; our job is to facilitate discussion in the group,
and it was really cool to see that play out. For the most part, all the guys in
my group (5, including me), spoke about the same amount of time. I kept having
to remind myself in that meeting and in others that I am a leader. More
importantly, they see me as a leader. It’s kind of been forcing me to step
outside my comfort zone a bit, which is really a good practice to get into.
It’s my job in the group to ask questions, to decide when we move onto the next
question, and overall to guide the meeting from beginning to end. This is
really my first time doing something like this, but I’ve loved it so far. For
any Cedarville students reading this, I would highly recommend becoming a discipleship
group leader while you still can. It’s really not too much of a time
commitment, and it’s also very rewarding.
Church
One
huge lesson I learned this summer in Sequoia was how to be more adventurous.
Through A Christian Ministry in the National Parks, I learned to adapt quickly
to new situations and take on roles I never thought I would take. I developed a
love for doing things I’d never done before. I learned how to be spontaneous
and how to take risks. I’d like to think I brought these skills back with me to
Cedarville.
This
year I have a new room and new roommate (though same dorm, because the guys I
live with are like family). I have a new leadership role on campus. I’ve
started watching Avatar: The Last
Airbender, which is actually a really good show (I’m now on season 2). I’ve
also now found a church home here in Cedarville.
The
last couple years I didn’t really have a church home. I would usually go to
Emmanuel Baptist with my brother, Southgate with my uncle and aunt, or other
random churches with other guys in the unit. But last semester, I visited
Cedarville Presbyterian with a guy in my unit, and I really liked it. This
school year, I’ll be going there every Sunday.
Two Sundays ago I attended a membership class the church offered and
last Sunday I became an official affiliate member of the church. I’m just an
affiliate member because I’m already a part of a Presbyterian church back home,
where my dad is the pastor. Also, I’m only going to be in Cedarville until May,
then I’m gone (hopefully to England…).
I’m not sure if I would consider
myself a Presbyterian, I just really liked the atmosphere of Cedarville
Presbyterian (as well as First Presbyterian Church of Exeter back home). Most
of the other churches I’ve visited the past couple years are fairly big. I’m
really bad at estimating amounts of people, but probably the average people in
most churches I visited were around 200 or so. Cedarville Presbyterian,
however, has maybe 20-30 people, and my church back home probably has around 20
as well.
I’m
much more comfortable in smaller groups of people (which another reason I’m
glad God gave me such a small D-group). When I visited larger churches, I
almost felt isolated. In huge congregations, I sometimes feel that there is no
way I’ll be able to join something so big and organized and busy. Even people
that go to large churches all the time would not single me out. They could just
assume I’m a regular attendee of this church. With so many people, it would be
likely that two members of the same church might not ever meet each other
despite attending together for several years. That might be a bit of an
exaggeration but I hope it explains what I’m thinking. This is why I like
smaller congregations better. At a church with a much smaller congregation like
Cedarville Presbyterian, people notice when I visit. They see a new face in the
crowd, and they greet me.
Another
thing I like about Cedarville Presbyterian (and probably most Presbyterian
churches) is that we have a fellowship time afterwards. In all the churches I
visited the last couple years, this was the only one that had something like
this. The word church refers to the people, not the building: the people are
the church. Therefore I believe churches in general need to focus more on
building relationships with each other. Honestly one of my favorite parts of
Presbyterian services is the fellowship time afterwards (and not just because
of the food). It’s great to worship with fellow believers but I especially love
talking to them and actually getting to know them. If you’ve ever seen me with
a group of people, I may seem very shy and will only offer a sentence or two
into a group conversation. But if it’s just me and another person, I become
much livelier. I’d like to say I thrive on one-on-one discussions, though I
haven’t had too many. I love listening to people’s stories people and I also
love to tell my own stories. And what makes this even better is that most of
the people in Cedarville Presbyterian (and the one back home) are kind-of old.
These people have lived much longer than I have. They’ve seen things and
experienced things I never will (or won’t for a long time). Many of them have
rich histories waiting to be discovered in conversation; stories of war and
other scary times, but also stories of beautiful times long past. I love that
because of their age, they are filled with wisdom far beyond my years. I look
forward to building relationships with them this school year.
The Caged Dog
Anyway,
I went on a longer tangent there than I meant to, but it was enjoyable. This is
why I enjoy writing. I have no rules. I can write about whatever I want for as
long as I want. It’s a very freeing experience. At the same time it also helps
me develop my writing voice, which is key in becoming a successful writer.
Another
aspect I like about writing is actually possibly a problem: I’m very easily
distracted. I notice sometimes in class that while the professor is speaking,
my mind wanders off to some other topic. This doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m
uninterested in the subject, just that I have a lot on my mind. And often when
I “come back to reality” I realize that I have literally no idea what the
professor has just said. I get so lost in recesses of my mind that I can’t hear
what is going on. I’m sure if I really
concentrated I could stop this from happening but I almost don’t want to. And I
don’t get completely lost in thought;
I’m sure if the professor were to suddenly change subjects or do something
unexpected I would notice. But it’s really interesting that when I “zone out”
like that it’s like I’m not seeing and hearing the professor anymore; I’m
suddenly seeing different things in my mind, and hearing the voice of my
thoughts.
But
what does this have to do with writing? When I’m free-writing, much like now, I
can write about what I’m thinking while I’m thinking it. Even as I’m writing
this, I’m thinking it out loud in my head (if that makes sense). This is one of
the only activities I can do that syncs my inner thoughts with direct tangible
work.
Think
of it this way: my mind is like a caged dog. No matter where I am – in class,
in church, or wherever – the caged dog in my head is itching to get out, always
thinking about what it’s going to do once it’s free. For that caged dog in my
head, a blank page is like an open field: it has no boundaries. After a long
day of being caged up, I’m finally allowed to run around and play.
I’d
like to end this post with a quote of myself. About a year ago in my Intro to
Creative Writing class, I wrote a piece called “Who am I?” In this assignment,
I was supposed to tell about myself but in new and creative ways. This
especially like what I had to say about my mind:
“My
mind is a free bird with no destination; it easily wanders and is easily lost.
It has gone far but still has many places to travel.”
(You can find the full
text here)
No comments:
Post a Comment